Well, would you look at that. It seems I inadvertently took a three month hiatus from writing. I could do all sorts of explaining about how time got away from me, but the truth is I needed a break from all this sharing. For a long time, all I wanted was for readers to find their way here. I wanted to create a sense of community and belonging among women and mothers. I wanted a space where people could come to share a laugh, commiserate about the trials of parenthood, inspire or be inspired, and most importantly, connect in an age of utter disconnection.
But a few years into it, I got scared. What if what I was writing wasn't interesting to people anymore? Was I sharing too much? Not enough? How would Liv feel when she's older knowing that I'd detailed her life on the internet? Once something is put out there, you can never get it back, after all. I began feeling insecure about my decision to write instead of empowered by it.
So I decided to take a step back and sit in silence for a while. Our days marched on and a lot of things happened. We celebrated a first birthday with the most special people in Liv's life. We bought another house and moved for the 8th time in 7 years. Life changed and we grew, and through it all, I just kept thinking, I should really be writing this all down. If for nothing else than our own memory.
I remembered why I started this blog in the first place. It's our family's storybook and our daughter's babybook. Over the years, Keane and I have spent so much time looking back through old blog posts– reminiscing about our adventures, laughing at our missteps and reliving the emotion of our biggest moments together. I thought about how, in 50 years from now, when my hair is white and my skin is wrinkled, I'll cherish this collection of writings more than most things. Memories fade but words and photos live on. My hope is that Liv will appreciate reading these snippets from her family and maybe even develop a love of writing like her mama.
So I've decided not to worry about the "audience," and just write. If people come, great. If they find enjoyment from our stories, even better. But I have to remember, first and foremost, this is for us and the pressure is off.
So for now, we're back...with stories to tell.